


No Turning Back

by BSBLover2538



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Character Death, Cutting, Death in Childbirth, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/M, Guns, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Needles, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Character Death, Razors, Rehab, Running Away, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 06:37:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17278937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSBLover2538/pseuds/BSBLover2538
Summary: Lyric followed in her father's footsteps, and not in the way AJ wanted. After getting involved in drugs, and hearing devastating news, Lyric runs away, gets found, and goes to rehab. What follows haunts AJ, causing devastating results.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fricksgirl_32](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fricksgirl_32/gifts).



> WARNING: Very dark, involving death, guns, drug use, suicide, needles, alcohol abuse, addiction, self-harm. 
> 
> Well, I am starting out 2019 on a dark note. Darkest fic to date, first one involving the kids. Love this fic, intrigued to see what the reaction is.

AJ sighed softly as he sat down at his computer knowing his oldest daughter would be video calling him soon as she always did each Thursday night since she had gone off to college. She had decided to bow out of the entertainment world and chase her dreams of becoming a teacher, and AJ couldn't have been prouder of his oldest. 

It was his youngest he was worried about, Lyric had inherited his wild side and had embraced it fully much to her father's dismay. She had dropped out of school and ran off multiple times, sometimes gone for days or weeks at a time. AJ tried to keep Ava in the dark about her sister, knowing how much school meant to her, but knew he couldn't keep it hidden much longer. 

The call came in as he took a deep breath and answered it, seeing his baby girl show up on the computer. 

"Hey sweetie!" AJ smiled, trying to hide the pain. 

"Hey Dad, how are you?" Ava happily asked. 

"I'm doing wonderful" AJ tried to smile but saw the look on his daughter's face.

" What's wrong?" Ava's expression becoming serious. 

She watched as her father sighed and looked down, knowing he was hiding something from her and had a feeling she knew what. 

"Dad, where's Lyric?" Ava bluntly asked, something else both girls had inherited from him. 

He looked up, biting his lower lip knowing there was no point in hiding it anymore. "She ran off again." 

Ava closed her eyes trying to hold the tears back. "Do I need to come home?" 

"No sweetie, I know you have finals coming up." AJ sighed. 

Ava was angry and hurt he had hidden the fact her sister had ran off again, but understood why he did it. She was just worried about him being at the house alone and what stress can do to him.

"Are you okay?" Ava asked, now even more concerned. "You haven't...." 

AJ shook his head. "No, not since your Uncle Kevin came to check on me and found my hiding spots." 

She sighed softly, rubbing her hand over her face not knowing what to do. She was so close to her dream job, just over a year from graduation. But she knew she was needed at home even if AJ didn't come right out and say it. 

"Baby girl, don't worry please." AJ pleaded. "Your Uncles and Odin are on the lookout for her." 

Ava looked up at her father. "Odin's looking for her?" 

AJ nodded. "Of course, he is, you know he still cares about her." 

Ava nodded knowing exactly how Odin still felt about Lyric. Odin couldn't stand to see her go down the same path both AJ and Nick had gone down. The two had dated for a couple of years before Odin discovered Lyric's nasty habit, he had tried everything to help her and got her clean for a bit, but she had fallen off the wagon and back into her old habits. 

AJ sighed softly, not knowing what else to say. He was so worried about his little girl and didn't know what to do. Kevin and Odin had looked in all the places she was normally found with no sign of her, even Baylee had asked his fans who lived in Cali to keep an eye out for his little cousin. 

"Why did she run off?" Ava finally asked. 

She watched her father's face fall and could make out the tears that began to fall from his eyes. 

"I told her what happened to your mother." AJ sighed. "I thought she was old enough to finally know." 

Ava bit her lower lip as she tried to keep her own tears from falling, she never once blamed her mom or dad for what had happened, but it still stung after all these years. 

"She ran off after you told her I take it." 

AJ nodded. "Yes, and she hasn't been back and her phone is either off or dead." 

"I'll be home soon since finals are coming up, will you be okay until I can get home?" Ava asked, worried. 

"Yeah, I'll be fine." AJ reassured, still scared but knew he couldn't keep relying on everyone just because the temptations constantly gnawed at his brain. 

"Okay, I'll talk to you soon." Ava nodded. "I love you." 

"I love you too baby girl." 

Ava clicked the end button, making AJ's screen go black as he sighed softly. He had one bottle hidden away that Kevin hadn't found and about half of it was gone, but he was trying his hardest not to go for it, especially after promising Ava he was fine. He got up and headed for the stairs, stopping just for a brief moment at the hallway closet, hand on the doorknob. 

It took all his will power, but he let go and headed up the stairs into the bedroom, the fight rushing through his mind and the hurtful things Lyric had said to him. He hadn't meant to keep the truth from her for so long. 

"I hate you!" Lyric's words rang through his mind as the tears fell. He laid down on the bed, curling up with Rochelle's pillow just as he had done each night. He had tried so hard to raise the girls the way she would have wanted them to be raised, never expecting one of his babies to end up down the same road he had walked for so long. It was like karma had come full circle, getting him back for all the stress and worry he had put his brothers through. AJ fell asleep with tears in his eyes as the nightmares filled his dreams, not knowing if he would ever see his youngest girl ever again. 


	2. Chapter 2

Lyric groaned softly as her head pounded, her brain coming back from the high it had been on all night. Her eyes were fuzzy as she looked out from her spot in the corner of the alleyway, the needles all around her. She groaned hearing the crowd and noise from the busy street as she tried to clear her head enough to figure out what was going on. She shook her head as the throbbing began to hit her, the memories coming back to her. 

"How long have I been gone?" She wondered to herself as she pulled her legs up to her chest, seeing her bag sitting next to her. She could feel the cravings already running through her body but knew she was almost out of money to buy anything else. 

She carefully got herself up and grabbed her bag before slowly walking towards the busy street, stumbling a bit but quickly found her strength to move forward. Her brain was still trying to put back the pieces of what happened a little at a time, remembering being at home with her Dad and him needing to talk to her about something, she just couldn't remember what. She winced at the sun, closing her eyes until they could adjust to the brightness before heading down the sidewalk. 

She knew exactly where she was headed, but didn't know the kind of response she would get once she got there, the tears began to fall as the events from the other night finally came back to her.

Two weeks earlier....

"Lyric, can I talk to you?" AJ asked. 

Lyric looked up from her book she was reading and nodded. "Sure, what's up?" 

AJ bit his lower lip before sitting down on her bed, patting it. Lyric got up from her desk and sat down next to him, she could tell this was something serious by the look on her father's face. 

"Sweetie, I know you've been asking about what happened to your mother" AJ began, taking a deep breath. 

Lyric waited quietly, she had been asking her dad about her mom for the last couple of years but could never get him to answer her, always telling her he would tell her when she was older. AJ tried to hold back the tears as he looked into his youngest’s eyes, the brown of his mirrored in them.  He never once blamed her for what happened, knowing things like this happened and he had done exactly what Rochelle begged him to do, save their daughter's life. 

"Honey, your mom died while giving birth to you." AJ finally revealed. 

Lyric's face had gone white, her hands curling up into balls as the tears fell. "Wh..what?" 

AJ didn't hold the tears back and nodded. "They couldn't save both of you and your mom begged me to have the doctors save you." 

Lyric's anger filled her body as the craving hit her, she needed something but knew she wouldn't get it still being at the house. She quickly got up and grabbed her bag. 

"Lyric please.." AJ begged.

"HOW COULD YOU LET HER DIE?!" Lyric screamed, her hand on the door. "I hate you!" 

AJ watched in silence as his youngest ran out the door, the tears hadn't stopped as he felt his own temptations fill him. AJ looked down at the floor feeling ashamed of himself for not doing more, the memories of that day rushing back into his mind. He hadn't fallen off the wagon until that night, he had gone out and gotten drunk just hours after Lyric had been born, trying to drown out the pain of losing his wife even though his daughter was now safe and alive.

Present Day...

Lyric wiped the tears away as she looked up to see where she was, she didn't have much further to go but the itch was getting to be too much for her. She turned into the alleyway and leaned up against the dumpster as she opened her bag, getting her arm ready and pushing the needle into her skin. She whimpered as the drugs took over her mind and body, her eyes going fuzzy as the memories faded away, going dark just as a shadowy figure headed her way. 

Lyric felt herself being lifted up and moved but was so out of it to fight the arms that were lifting her up and carrying her away. Her fuzzy mind couldn't figure out what was going on but could feel the warmth of the body that had a tight grip on her. She finally passed completely out, not caring what was done to her while she was out. 


	3. Chapter 3

Lyric groaned as her mind began to clear up again, her head throbbing as she looked around, everything was still fuzzy but she could tell she was no longer on the street and was laying on something soft. She tried to sit up to fast, feeling the entire room spin. 

"Take it easy baby girl." A voice said softly.

Lyric looked up seeing a fuzzy figure sitting on the bed next to her, the voice sounded familiar and only two people ever called her baby girl, her brain was just to fuzzy to still make out who was with her. 

"Dad?" Lyric asked softly.

The voice chuckled softly. "No, but will you settle for second best?" 

"Odin?" 

"There we go." Odin smiled softly, running his hand through her hair gently. 

"Ho..how did you find me?" She asked, still trying to get her bearings. 

"Well, when you got three cousins in the industry and they asked their fans to keep an eye out for you, you hear things." Odin grinned softly.

Lyric groaned loudly as she laid back down on the bed. "Why do they do that?" 

"Because they love and care about you." Odin replied. 

Lyric huffed softly, looking up at the ceiling. "I wasn't gone that long." 

"Lyric, you've been gone for two weeks." 

Her eyes went wide as she looked at him. "Two weeks..." 

Odin nodded. "When Uncle Kevin and I couldn't find you in your normal spots, we all went SOS”

 Lyric grumbled softly, hating how much they fussed over her. "I was fine, no one needed to look for me."

"You aren't fine." Odin argued. "You're a mess and don't think I haven't seen the bruises on your arms." 

"So what?" Lyric snapped. "It's not like you're innocent." 

Odin sighed softly. "I know I'm not, but I got help and I've been clean since. I refuse to put my parents through that again." 

Lyric grumbled, her mind clear once again as she looked up at the blonde. Her eyes softened a bit seeing the sadness and worry in his blue eyes. They both still had feelings for each other, but her drug addiction was keeping them apart and she didn't know if she could really kick the habit, even for Odin. 

"Come on, let’s get you cleaned up." Odin said, offering his hand.

She sighed and took it, letting him help her up as they headed to the bathroom. He got her to sit down on the toilet seat before running her bath as she got undressed. Had they not dated, the situation would have been very awkward for them. Odin turned around trying not to let the tears fall seeing how many areas of her body had bruises from the needles, he turned his attention back to the water remembering how she liked her baths and helped her in. 

"Thanks." Lyric whispered.

"You're welcome baby girl." Odin replied before going out. 

Lyric slid into the water, letting the warmth relax her entire body as she closed her eyes. She was in her own little world when Odin quickly came back in with a change of clothes knowing his shirt was too big for her, but grinned softly to himself, he had always loved when she'd wear one of his shirts. 

Odin heard the bathroom door open up and smiled seeing her come out in his shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms that were way to big on her, but he didn't care. She looked around the apartment they had once shared and sighed softly to herself before moving over to the couch and sitting down. 

"Feel better?" 

"Kind of." 

The two went silent, not really sure what to say. There was still so much emotion swimming around the two and neither wanted to upset the other. 

"You hungry?" Odin finally asked.

Lyric hadn't realized it until he asked, but she hadn't eaten in a while and nodded softly watching him get up and head for the small kitchen. 

"When did you learn how to cook?" She asked.

Odin chuckled softly. "Mom made sure I knew how to cook, you just never would let me." 

Lyric looked down, playing with the hem of her shirt, loving the smell that wrapped around her as she curled up on the couch. She knew she was the biggest reason they had broken up and how broken she left him after he had found her stash, but here he was, opening his home and arms to her. 

After a few minutes, Odin had food ready for both of them, sitting down at the table together like they used to. Lyric moved her food around her plate sighing softly. 

"Want to talk about it?" 

"Not really." 

Odin nodded as he finished up, worried she hadn't eaten a thing. 

"I'm guessing you called everyone." Lyric sighed, eating a bit.

"Yeah and your Dad isn't doing well." 

"What else is new?" Lyric huffed. 

"Lyric!" Odin scolded. "He's your Dad, how can you say that?" 

She shook her head as the cravings started to hit her again before quickly getting up and running to the bathroom, slamming the door. Odin sighed softly, glad she had left her bag in the bedroom, he wasn't about to let her shoot up here in the apartment. 


	4. Chapter 4

Odin noticed that Lyric had been gone a little too long for her to just be collecting herself. A pit of dread settled in his stomach as he knocked on the bathroom door. 

“You okay in there Lyric?” he called, hearing shuffling, and Lyric quietly cursing. 

“Yea, just fine” Lyric hesitantly responded back, slightly panicking. 

“I’m coming in there, I have the key” Odin took the key from his pocket and unlocked the bathroom door, not prepared for the image that he was confronted with. 

Lyric had taken the razor blade out of his razor he used to shave with, and had it placed against her wrist, preparing to cut herself. Odin saw the look in her eyes, and knew that he was completely in over his head, that Lyric needed help that he just couldn’t give her. 

“What are you doing?!” he cried, as he gently took the blade from her trembling hands, setting it down on the sink, before taking her hand and leading her back to the living room. 

“I just wanted the cravings to go away again. It’s what I’ve always done to try and curb them, and it usually works” Lyric admitted in a small voice. 

“Lyric, do you realize where you were about to cut? You could have cut a major artery and bled completely out!” Odin nearly yelled, anger and sadness running through him. 

“I’m calling your father, and then taking you to the hospital. I am in way over my head, and you need help, to detox, and then go to rehab. I won’t stand here anymore and watch you continue to kill yourself” Odin paced in front of Lyric, who hung her head, nodding. 

Odin pulled out his cell, and dialed the familiar number, that he had talked to many times over the last two weeks. 

“Odin....did you find her? Alive?” AJ’s anguished voice came as he answered his phone.

“Yes, Uncle AJ, I found her, alive. But things are worse than I thought, I am taking her to the hospital. Can you meet us there in an hour please. I am in over my head, and Lyric needs more help than I can give her now” Odin spoke softly, watching Lyric tear up, realizing just how far she had fallen. 

“Yes, I will meet you there. I’ll call Ava, give her a heads up. She comes home tomorrow anyway, thank god” AJ’s heartbroken voice tore Odin apart, and he quickly ended the conversation, looking over at Lyric. 

“I love you so much baby girl, that’s why I’m doing this. I am in over my head, and you need to find other ways of dealing with your pain. You need to get the tools to try and beat this for good, and live a healthy life” Odin sat down, tracing his hand along Lyric’s cheek, feeling her nod her head in agreement. 

“Let me brush my teeth, and we will make our way down to the hospital” Odin followed Lyric, not trusting her for now, and watched as she brushed her teeth, before taking her hand and leading her to his car, making their way down to the hospital. 

Meanwhile...

AJ hung up his phone, praying to every deity he knew for the fact that Lyric was still alive, and with Odin. He trembled knowing that there was something deeper going on with her, and had to completely leave the home to not drink that last half bottle he had. He took his phone with him, and called Ava, to update her. 

“Dad, have you found Lyric?” Ava almost cried when she saw her father calling her. 

“Yes, Odin found her. But Ava, he has to take her to the hospital, Lyric is worse than he expected. I don’t know what’s going on. As soon as I get off the phone with you, I’m heading there. I know you come home tomorrow, but if you want, I will get you a flight home today” AJ explained to his oldest, trying to hold his tears back, thoughts racing through his head. 

“Yes, get me home as soon as you can. I need to be with you, and Lyric. Finals are done, I was just sitting around here pacing, waiting for an update” Ava’s guts churned as she listened to her father, beside herself with worry about her little sister. 

“Okay baby girl. As soon as I get off the phone with you, I’ll get you a seat, and text you the info. Then I’ll make my way to the hospital. As soon as I know anything, I’ll call. Love you Ava, and I’ll see you in a few hours” AJ hung up the phone, getting a flight for his oldest for three hours from now, meaning he would have both of his girls with him in less than six hours. He drew in a deep breath, and made his way back inside, to get changed, to head to the hospital. 


	5. Chapter 5

An hour passed since they left the apartment, and Lyric was in a room at the hospital, hooked up to an IV to get fluids in her. The doctors had extracted a promise from Odin that he wouldn’t leave her alone, or else they would have to cuff her to the bed, deeming her a risk to herself. They removed her clothing, and she was in a hospital gown, with the grippy socks on. 

“I’m so sorry” Lyric kept repeating, as Odin held her hand, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. 

“I know, but you need help baby girl. I can’t watch you do this to yourself” Odin tried to reassure her, but knew that it fell short. They both looked up as the curtain moved, and AJ came into view. 

“Daddy” Lyric whispered, before completely breaking down, sobbing into her hands, feeling ashamed and dirty. 

“Baby girl, Daddy’s here, and he loves you so much” AJ immediately took his youngest in his arms, and slowly rocked her while shushing her, Odin immediately ceding his chair to his uncle. He watched the scene with tears in his eyes, knowing he had to tell his Uncle why they were there. 

“What happened?” AJ asked several minutes later, after Lyric had calmed down, and lay limply in his arms. AJ looked towards Odin, who swallowed painfully, and closed his eyes. 

“I found Lyric in the bathroom with a razor blade to her wrist. She told me she has cut herself before, to try and curb the cravings. I knew I was in over my head, and that she needed more serious help than what I could give her” Odin opened his eyes to see AJ, with tears running down his face, clutching Lyric to him, like a lifeline. 

“Why, baby girl?” AJ looked at his daughter, heartbroken. 

“I needed to get rid of the pain, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I just wanted the pain, the cravings, everything to stop. I wanted to die” Lyric looked at her hands, twisting them, as she admitted to her best friend and her father, that she wanted to end it all. 

Twin sharp intakes of breath met her words, as the tears came harder for AJ. He failed his baby girl. He caused her to go to the edge. AJ jumped up, needing to get away. He looked at Odin, who nodded, and went out into the hallway, needing to call Kevin, the one who always saved him, and stopped him from going overboard. He shakily pressed the speed dial, and listened as the phone rang.

“AJ! Thank god. Did Odin find Lyric?” Kevin hastily asked, relieved to hear from his younger brother. 

“Yes, but she is so much worse. Odin caught her about to end her life. She had the razor blade to her wrist. I caused this Kev. I caused my baby girl to go to the edge, to want to die. I wish I had never told her about Rochelle” AJ sobbed as he told his oldest brother about what his youngest had done. 

Kevin was speechless. His thoughts raced as he thought about his youngest niece ending her life. He couldn’t bear the thought, but knew he had to try and help his brother out. 

“AJ, Lyric is still alive, and is getting the help she needs. Do I need to come down there, and be with you? I am completely willing to come. Mason and Max both are on their own, and I’ve been sitting in an empty home for weeks” Kevin thought about his kids, and couldn’t imagine going through what AJ currently was. He and Kristin had divorced years ago, he raised his boys as a single father, and was so beyond proud of them. 

“Please” AJ’s pleading voice broke Kevin’s heart, and he knew he’d be making his way down to the hospital to be with him. AJ told him that Odin was with them, and Ava was on her way, and Kevin sighed in relief. 

“I’ll be there as quick as I can. AJ, I have to know...is there alcohol at the house?” Kevin had a feeling that he didn’t get everything the last time he had went through the house. 

“Yes, Kevin. I had a bottle of scotch hidden away. It’s half empty. It’s in the hall closet, buried underneath the pile of blankets on the floor, in the basket in the corner” AJ admitted, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to resist the urge when he got home to drink the rest of it. 

“Thank you for admitting that AJ, I’ll stop by your house and get rid of it, before coming to the hospital. I am so proud of you. I’ll be there in 45 minutes” Kevin hung up, and raced to get ready to go, texting his sons that their cousin was found, and getting help. 


	6. Chapter 6

AJ went back into Lyric’s room, to see Odin holding her, while she sobbed. 

“What’s going on?” AJ questioned, afraid to hear the answer. 

“The doctors want to admit her to the psych ward, for a week at least. They’ve deemed her suicidal, and a risk to herself. They said they will get her started on a detox program, but she will have to go right to a rehab, for at least 90 days” Odin explained, as Lyric tried to catch her breath. 

“Baby girl, you know that that is the best thing for you to do. Do you want to clean yourself up, get healthy and sober?” AJ knew this wouldn’t work, if Lyric didn’t want the help. 

“Ye....Yes, I want to get sober, but the idea of being in a psych ward is scaring me. I don’t want to be alone” Lyric hiccupped, shaking a bit, the cravings starting to hit her again. 

“We will visit you every day. Odin, Ava, Uncle Kevin, we will all be here” Lyric’s head shot up at the last two names, not realizing that both her sister and Uncle knew what was going on. 

“Ava, I understand, but why is Uncle Kevin coming here?” Lyric asked, confused. 

“I need him here sweetheart. He keeps me healthy and sober, like Odin does for you. He saved me all those years ago, and he continues to save me when I need it. You know that he regularly comes through the house, making sure I haven’t bought alcohol” AJ patiently explained, seeing the anguish coming back into his daughter’s eyes. 

“He’s coming here because you are getting cravings again, because of my stupidity” Lyric’s tears started again, as she berated herself for causing her father so much pain.

“No baby girl. He is coming here because he cares about you, and he knows that I am going to need him while you are getting the help you need. So, I can be the best I can be for you” AJ tried to reassure his daughter, but he could tell that she could see right through it. 

“No dad, I know the truth. You are getting your own cravings, and Uncle Kevin stops you. I know you probably drank while I was missing. God, why did I let myself fall off the wagon, I caused so much pain and heartache to everyone. They will probably never forgive me for this” Lyric started sobbing again, as AJ’s phone rang. He looked seeing it was Ava, showed it to Odin, who nodded, and took Lyric in his arms, trying to get her to calm down again. 

“Hey Ava, what’s going on?” AJ asked his oldest daughter, as he stepped out of Lyric’s room.

“I was able to get on an even earlier flight, after I explained my situation. I board in five minutes, and I will be there in three hours, I promise. What’s going on?” Ava wanted to know, so she could be prepared. 

“Lyric will be going into the psych ward for a week, getting started on a detox program, and then immediately going to a rehab for 90 days, inpatient” AJ didn’t want to tell his oldest about her sister wanting to end her life over the phone. 

“There’s something else going on, I can tell, but you don’t want to tell me over the phone. I will be coming straight there from the airport. Don’t worry I’m catching an Uber, I still have the emergency card you gave me when I came home a month ago. Be there in three hours Dad, and I want answers” AJ told his daughter goodbye, and was about to head back into Lyric’s room when he saw Kevin come into view. He ran over and practically jumped into his arms.

“You came, you really came” AJ whispered, trying to hold onto any part of Kevin he could grab.

“Yes, I came. I said I would, and I don’t break my word” Kevin’s soft drawling voice soothed AJ, and he felt himself start to finally calm. Kevin rubbed his large hands on AJ’s back, sighing softly as he felt the younger man start to relax. 

“Let’s go see Lyric, I need to see that she’s okay” Kevin guided AJ back into Lyric’s room, sighing in relief seeing his niece and nephew together, and seeing Lyric alive. He went over to give Lyric a hug, and nearly melted when she whispered “Thank You” in his ears. He pulled away nodding his head. 

The doctors came back in, and told Lyric that they were moving her to the psych ward soon. Her eyes got huge, and she started shaking. AJ ran and hugged her, looking up at the doctors, knowing that it would be the best place for her. He knew he wouldn’t be able to see her for at least six hours while they got her settled. 

“Baby girl, you can do this. You are so strong. As soon as you are ready for visitors, the three of us plus Ava, will be there for as long as we can be, and will be back each day. You need to do this, and I know you can. Talk to Mommy, she is watching over you, you know that” AJ hesitated adding the part about Rochelle, but knew that Lyric needed to hear it. 

She looked up into her father’s eyes, so much like hers, and nodded. Lyric wanted this, wanted to get clean and sober again, fight her demons head on. She looked up at the doctors, and nodded her head, and they got her ready to move to the fifth floor. Lyric looked up at her best friend, her father, and her Uncle, squeezing each of their hands, and whispered her love for them, before being wheeled away. AJ watched her leave, turned into Kevin’s chest, and broke completely down. 


	7. Chapter 7

Two hours later, Ava arrived at the hospital, going to the waiting room to see her cousin, Uncle, and father sitting there waiting for anymore news. She immediately went to her father, getting a hug from him. He pulled her into a secluded corner, and told her what he hadn’t told her over the phone. Odin and Kevin looked over to see Ava sobbing in her father’s arms, their hearts clenching as they knew what AJ had just told her. 

Ava started pacing the hallways, waiting for the okay to go see her sister. She couldn’t believe that Lyric wanted to end her own life. She never thought that it had gotten that bad. Odin got her to eat something, and when they came back up AJ and Kevin were talking to the doctors. 

“What’s going on?” Ava asked, and AJ turned to his oldest daughter. 

“We can go see Lyric, but only for an hour. They keep everyone on a schedule, and its nearly time for her nighttime meds, and for her to go to sleep” Ava nodded, and the four followed the doctor to the fifth floor. 

They got rid of anything that Lyric could take that she could hurt herself with, and walked into the little room they had for visitors. Lyric came in five minutes later, and hugged her sister for another five minutes straight. 

“Lyric, why didn’t you tell me things had gotten so bad?” Ava’s desperate look sent Lyric into tears again, as she tried to explain the depths of depression she had gotten to. 

“I had already fallen off the wagon, and then Dad told me about Mommy, and I couldn’t deal anymore. I had to get away, and use the drugs, to try and forget” Lyric hiccupped as Ava held her hand, the three guys looking on, with heartbroken looks. 

“I understand Lyric, but you have to face your demons without the drugs. Dad and I want you to be healthy and happy, and right now you are neither” Ava rubbed her sister’s hand, wishing she could just whisk her away from this place. 

The hour sped by, and soon the four left Lyric alone for the night. The routine continued for the week, before Lyric was discharged to a rehab two hours north of them. The four got her settled in, and Lyric continued trying to work on her sobriety, with AJ and Ava visiting every week, without fail, sometimes with Kevin and Odin, sometimes just the two of them. 

Lyric had been doing really well, but she was hiding how deep the cravings actually went. It had been about six weeks since she entered the rehab, and the cravings were still bothering her. She tried to ignore them, until one day, she couldn’t handle it anymore. Lyric waited until everyone was occupied in their groups and other things, and hid by the entrance to the rehab. 

“Where are you going?” a nurse that Lyric knew, stopped her, just as she was about to leave the rehab. 

“I want to take a walk, explore the area a little bit, I have free time right now before my next group in an hour. I’ll be back before then, I promise” Lyric was lying through her teeth, she was never coming back here. 

“Okay, go, but be back here in an hour” the nurse waved her off, having a feeling that she wouldn’t be back, she had heard the excuse too many times before. 

“I need a fix. Badly. I can’t do this, I just can’t face my demons. I need the drugs” Lyric told herself, as she walked along the highway, cars speeding by her. One car stopped, and Lyric knew the driver. She hopped in the car, and it was the last anyone saw her for several months. 

AJ was waiting to hear from Lyric, expecting her thrice weekly phone calls. They always came around 6pm, so to get a call at 3 from the rehab, sent AJ into a panic. 

“Hello?” he tentatively asked, dread filling him. 

“Mr. McLean, we just wanted to inform you that Lyric has walked away from the rehab. She told us she was going on a walk, and we couldn’t stop her. That was several hours ago, and she hasn’t been seen since then. We do not know where she could be” the voice on the other end sent AJ’s world into a tailspin. 

“Thanks for nothing” AJ slammed the phone down, and burst into tears. Kevin was sitting at the table, having come to talk to AJ and catch up with him, and immediately got up and wrapped AJ in a hug. 

“What’s going on?” Kevin asked, worry and concern coloring his tone. 

“Lyric left rehab, and they have no idea where she is” AJ got out in between sobs, and Kevin’s heart dropped. He shook his head, holding AJ to his chest, trying to soothe him as best as he could. 

“What do you want to do?” Kevin had to know, so he knew whether to call the others, call the cavalry to try and find Lyric again. 

“Call Odin and Ava, they need to know” AJ fished for his phone, and called his oldest daughter, who was back at college. 

“Hey dad, how’s Lyric doing” Ava asked, feeling distracted by a paper she was working on. 

“She left the rehab, and disappeared, no one knows where she is” AJ heard the gasp, and tears fell as he heard Ava drop her phone. 

“What did you just say? I must have misheard you” Ava thought this was some sick joke. 

“Lyric’s gone again, and this time she could be anywhere” AJ hung his head, as he spoke to Ava. 

“I’m coming home” Ava started looking of flights, only stopping when she heard her father’s harsh tone in response. 

“No, Ava, stay there. Your uncles and I will look for her, along with your cousins. You are in your final year, Lyric wouldn’t want you ruining your chances to get your degree. I will keep you updated” Ava gulped and nodded her head, telling her father that she would stay, and wait for his updates. They hung up and Ava posted on her social media, asking her friends to look for Lyric. 

Meanwhile, AJ called Odin, who had much the same reaction, and immediately got in his car to start driving north to try and find Lyric. He then called the other Boys, and his nephews, and got them to blast all over for help to find Lyric. He didn’t realize that it would be several months before he saw his youngest daughter again. 


	8. Chapter 8

It had been eight months since anyone had seen or heard from Lyric, and AJ was barely holding on. Ava graduated with her degree, but little celebration was had. Kevin had all but moved into the home, being the only thing that was keeping AJ’s head above water. He searched daily for his daughter, but Lyric had literally ghosted them. No one could find her. 

AJ was out looking for Lyric hoping to find any sign of her. He looked down and up every alleyway he came across. He had crossed state lines, and was now in Idaho looking for her. AJ looked down one alley, and saw something that made him stop short. He saw the BSB pin glinting in the moonlight, on the bag next to the person sitting up against the wall.

“Please God, no” AJ whispered, as he walked over to the body, immediately recognizing his daughter. He saw the thin clothes she was wearing, the needle tracks and bruises up and down her body. AJ knelt in front, begging for her to still be alive. He felt for a pulse, and started sobbing when he felt none. He backed away from his daughter’s body, whispering “no, no, no” over and over again. 

“Why God, why take her? Why not me? I’m the one who deserves it. I’m the one who caused all of this” AJ screamed and yelled as he took his daughter’s body in his arms, rocking back and forth, wishing he could bring her back to life. 

He held Lyric in his arms for almost an hour, before fishing out his cell phone. AJ knew that he had to call Ava, and everyone else. He knew that Ava and Odin were nearby, with Kevin, searching in the next town. He called Kevin and told him to get to his location immediately. He gave the street names, and Kevin said they’d be there in ten minutes. 

AJ just cradled Lyric in his arms, apologizing to her, for everything, and apologizing to Rochelle as well. He heard footsteps approaching, and looked up to see Ava, a devastated look on her face, asking with her eyes if her sister was still alive. A shake of AJ’s head, sent her to the ground sobbing. 

“What do you need me to do?” Kevin swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing he had to stay strong for AJ, but wanting to break down at the sight of his dead niece. 

“Call the police, they will bring her body to the morgue, and tell me what I already know. The drugs killed my baby girl, her demons got the best of her” AJ whispered, not wanting to let Lyric go. Ava was holding her sisters pale, lifeless hand, sobbing, with Odin next to her, buried in her chest. 

Kevin nodded, and made the call. The next hour was spent talking to the police, and seeing Lyric’s body being transferred to the morgue. Soon the four were left in the alley, completely drained and feeling lifeless. 

“Odin, call your parents, tell them to tell the others. I can’t do it. I can’t say the words. I can’t tell everyone that my baby girl is dead, and it’s all my fault” AJ choked out, nearly collapsing to the ground, if it wasn’t for Kevin. 

Kevin practically carried AJ back to their hotel rooms, and soon his phone was blowing up. AJ threw it against the wall, watching it shatter into a million pieces. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, he didn’t want to see anyone. He wanted Lyric back, hell he still wanted Rochelle back. 


	9. Chapter 9

Ava and Odin watched AJ helplessly, as he shut everyone out, including them and Kevin. AJ got Lyric’s body transferred back to the funeral home in their hometown, and Kevin drove them all home two days later. Three days after that, Lyric’s funeral was held. The entire BSB family attended, and so did many of Lyric’s friends. AJ was numb through it all. The only thing keeping him together was Ava, and even with that his resolve was weakening. 

“I just want to die. I want to be with my wife and daughter” was the main thought running through AJ’s head nearly 24/7. He waited until after the funeral, locked his home up, and drank. He didn’t stop till he puked or blacked out. He would sleep for hours on end, and start all over again once he woke up. 

“Uncle Kevin, have you heard from Dad? I tried to go over there earlier, and the shades were black, and the door was locked. I didn’t go in, because I was scared at what I would find. I am seriously afraid that he’s killed himself already” Ava had gone to stay with Odin, after the funeral. AJ told her that he was fine, and that she could do what she wanted. Ava hadn’t believed him for a second, but he was insistent, so she relented, and spent some time with Odin, both drawing comfort from each other. She had stopped by her uncle’s house, on her way to see her father again.  

“No, Ava I haven’t. I tried calling him yesterday, but he never picked up. I was going to use the key I had to get in today, if I hadn’t heard from him” Kevin looked at his niece, his heart breaking at the worry and grief in her eyes. It had been about two weeks since Lyric’s funeral, and AJ hadn’t been heard from once. 

“Let’s go. I need to see my father” Kevin got his stuff together, and followed Ava to AJ’s place. He watched her unlock the house and followed her into the dark home. 

“Dad? Are you okay?” Ava opened the blinds to let light in, and gasped at the scene in front of her. Booze bottles were strewn everywhere, and AJ was lying on the floor in a puddle of his own vomit. Kevin ran over to check if he was still breathing, and could barely feel a pulse.

“Call 911 now!” he barked, and Ava immediately dialed the emergency number, her eyes never leaving her father. The ambulance soon came, and got AJ to the hospital, Ava going with them, leaving Kevin behind to clean up. 

The ambulance raced to the hospital, and they tried pumping the excess alcohol out of AJ’s stomach, but it was no use. He had slipped into a coma, barely able to breathe, his liver finally having enough of the abuse. 

“I just lost my sister, and I’m about to lose my father” was Ava’s only thought as she stood in the waiting room, after talking to the doctors. Odin had met her there, and she fell into his arms sobbing. Ava knew that she was her father’s medical proxy, he having turned it over to her, after she turned 21. 

“I have to decide whether my father continues living or not. What the fuck do I do?” Ava desperately asked Odin, who could give her no answers. She knew she had to see her father. 

“Can I see him please?” she asked the doctor, who gave her a grim nod, and motioned with his hand to follow him. The sight of her father, brought Ava to her knees. 

AJ was on a vent, IV’s everywhere, monitors all over his body. Ava knew that her father wouldn’t be able to come back from this. She knew she had to let him go, that she was torturing him, by keeping him alive, when Ava knew that he wanted to be with Lyric and Rochelle. 

“Give me a day, and then we are turning the machines off” the doctor nodded, and left. Ava called the Backstreet family, and told them to come say their goodbyes. 

Ava watched as Kevin, Nick, Brian, and Howie all said goodbye to their brother, her heart wrenching at the scene. They knew that AJ wouldn’t want to be kept alive by machines. The day passed, as everyone came in to say goodbye. 

Twenty-four hours later, Ava stood at her father’s bedside, and watched as the doctor turned the machines off. She watched AJ’s breathing slow, and held his hand, telling him it was okay to go. 

“Go Daddy, be with Mommy and Lyric. Go be happy” Ava cried as she held her father’s hand. Ava heard the monitor flatline, and she broke down into heaving sobs, as she clutched her father’s lifeless body. 

She held onto him for an hour, before letting go. Ava was now all alone in the world, her mother, sister, and father all gone. She didn’t know what to do. Ava planned her father’s funeral, which was much larger than Lyric’s and then withdrew from everyone. 

“I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. How can I go on?” Ava questioned herself daily, as she visited the graves of her family. She barely ate, and slept if she wasn’t at the graveyard. She kept the spots meticulous, not wanting a blade out of place. 

“I keep feeling the pull to be with them. It gets stronger by the day. I won’t be able to ignore it for much longer” Ava knew that her time was coming as well, she could feel it. She wanted to be with her father, mother, and sister. She didn’t have anything to live for anymore. 

Ava never touched drugs or alcohol, but the effects of her father and sister’s addictions had spread to her. She couldn’t go on anymore. Ava bought a gun, and planned to commit suicide, in front of her parents’ and sister’s graves. It had been two months since AJ’s death, and she couldn’t move forward. As she lifted the gun to her temple, her last thoughts were “Mommy, Daddy, and Lyric, I’m coming home.” Ava pulled the trigger, and the McLean family was no more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is the end to my darkest fic to date. I will be back on Sunday night with another fic, hopefully either a naughty one, or a happier one at least. See y'all in my next story. As always, comments, hits, and kudos are loved and appreciated. Can't wait to see where 2019 takes me!


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